1. |
On Aeloch Hill
05:45
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On Aeloch Hill
Text and music by Christine Kammerer
One early morn' on Aeloch Hill
Where winds run wild and time stands still
There sat a girl in a moments peace
From a sorrow that never heaved
She watched the larks, envied their life
Their careless play, their wonderous flight
Her eyes grew blank, a tear fell down
on Aeloch hill, another time around
She carried pain, since that grim day
Where all she’d known was torn away
This little girl, with the tender gaze
Was only eight when she lost her faith
The years went by on goodwill and grace
T’was door after door, and face after face
And though they cared, and though they loved
It wasn’t the same, it was never enough
Then this winter morn’ on Aeloch Hill
Where winds run wild, and time stands still
This little girl stood all alone
Asking the wind to take her home
Her tear-filled eyes, looked to the sky
And she felt peace, with a quiet sigh
She wasn't scared or sad at all
They say she smiled, as she let herself fall
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2. |
Play Through the Pain
04:11
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Play through the pain
Text and music by Christine Kammerer
I can’t seem to get my head around this
I’m blinded by pain
Can’t find my way through this darkness
I worked so hard, how come nothing changed
Just set me on fire, bleed my soul,
bleed it all out, just let me go
Cause I still feel like that little girl
Who struggled to hide her tears
Feeling it was her against the world
I try to soothe her now, but I can’t calm those fears
So I, I Play through the pain
Feeling my breathing healing
I wanna chase the demons away
Though only reflection frees them
You know, I’ve been fighting all my life
My arms are getting tired
My throat is sore from screaming out
But the quietness it’s so filled with doubt
So, I’m grey matter roaming the world of living
How I envy your courage to feel
Trembling and frightened we all open up
Heart strangled, the struggle revealed
I play through the pain
Watch my reflection bleeding
I wanna chase the demons away
But right now it’s too dark to see them
My chest tightens up
With every word I dare to speak
I am told when they’re uttered
I would finally feel relief
But it’s hard to speak up when you don’t really listen,
You talk so damn much, but the actions they are missing
I play through the pain
Bringing them out, revealing
Scorned memories of yesterday
Bleeding their own dark meaning
So I, I Play through the pain
Feeling my breathing healing
Knowing they’re not my fate
I finally dare to free them
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3. |
Room for Me
05:23
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Room for me
Text and music by Christine Kammerer
Behind thick walls and closed doors I sing
I’m terrified of letting anybody in
Cause I worry constantly about what you’d think
Bracing myself trying to fit in
My voice was strangled by fear
I try to capture the truth of the moment but I’m never there
Expectation is killing me
So eager to fit but I just don’t agree
With the reality you thrust on me
And though there’s some aggression in the ways of my expression
There’s beauty in my honesty
No fairy tale princess in sight, no I’ll show you my might
This song is a reflection of years of contemplation,
That will lead me to sanity, cause
I am hurting myself trying to be what I’m not
Forcing this fight to be easy and soft
When it’s anything but
Too long I’ve lived on the opinions of others
But I barely exist in this lie
Can’t breathe in this life, no I am barely alive
I understand your confusion it was a beautiful illusion
That I kept alive so long
But lying my life a way, is pushing my insanity
And I’m rotting from the inside out
All my life I’ve lived in this box,
Of “never good enough”
Reducing myself to a nod and a smile, and still not feeling worth your while
I’m still not feeling worth your while, so
I am hurting myself trying to be what I’m not
Forcing this fight to be easy and soft
When it’s anything but
Too long I’ve lived on the opinions of others
But I barely exist in this lie
No, I can’t breathe in this life, no I am barely alive
So, as I break the dream with a primal scream
You’re forced to face the truth
My voice is an echo, unveiling the actual
Tales of a broken youth
I’m not daisies and tassels, I’m complex and frazzled
Chaotic and a bit insane
But each time I utter my true voice and colours
Salvation is in my range
Cause you know,
I am hurting myself trying to be what I’m not
Forcing this fight to be easy and soft
When it’s anything but
Too long I’ve lived on the opinions of others
But I barely exist in this lie
So, I won´t live like this anymore,
Now I am breaking down the door
Making room for me
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4. |
Why I Cry
05:31
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Why I cry
Text and music by Christine Kammerer
Now I’ve been out to find what I think I need
Not knowing what it may be
Where am I going, where do I belong
Just try to find my way song by song
I tried to keep my dream in a tight embrace
But I know it’s beyond control, it’s not a race
But I get a sinking feeling, just going with the flow
You know it’s hard making room, letting go
When the lights are shining up
We only hear what’s sung or said
And all the long nights there we tend to forget
That’s when I, I cry by myself cause I’m lonely
But only when I’m on my own
I cry cause I don’t think that I know me,
And I just wanna feel at home
Wanna find that place inside where I belong
There’s a yearning inside for release
When I sleep it haunts the fabric of my dreams
But I’m on a soul-shocking, fast-track ignoring the inner plea
Of that little girl who begs “can I be me”
When the lights are shining up
I’m afraid you’ll say
I’m in the wrong when I do it my way
That’s why I, I cry by myself cause I’m lonely
I’m only me when I’m alone
I cry cause I don’t let you see me
No, I gotta get out of the undertow,
And find that place inside where I belong
Afraid I’m not enough being me
But it’s only inside voices it’s not real
I see it now,
Common darkness, common pain
But I choose to rise in flames
Now, darkness always bore the light
And in a flash, I feel
How my voice is freed, and I become real
No longer cry by myself, I’m done a’drifting
I, I found where I belong
In solemn notes of loneliness
I found my voice is my home,
No longer cry by myself, I’m done a’drifting
I, I found where I belong
In solemn notes of loneliness
I found my voice is my home,
Where it’s aflame I will live, ever grow
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5. |
I will not Bow
05:07
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I will not bow
Text and music by Christine Kammerer
First there was a thought,
Then the thought grew up
Into an idea
I filled with love
Infatuated, held it to the sun
I couldn’t really grasp
What I had done
Nudged it out
Like a baby bird on wing
Praying to God it would fly
Or would sing
But it crashed to the ground
I was sad, felt small,
Saying to myself
You were never good
At anything at all
But it feels like I’m turning
Turning south,
I know there’s a yearning for something to get out
Yes, there is a tune in the corner of my mouth
Eager to grow, eager to get out
But,
I will not bow
I will not break
I tell you, I’ve learned
From all my mistakes
I will not yield,
I will not stop
I’ll be sure to tell you,
When I’ve had enough
I will not bow
Then one day a new thought
Sparked in me
But I dared not to give it life
Or set it free
Wait, fear was my story
For way too long
That’s actually why,
I decided on writing this song
Cause,
I will not bow
I will not break
I tell you, I’ve learned
From all my mistakes
I will not yield,
I will not stop
I’ll be sure to tell you,
When I’ve had enough
For now, I take flight in tune
Caress my soul
Search hard for truths
I can share, and unfold
I don’t want “if only’s”,
“what if’s” or
“it might have been”
When I grow old
I wanna know that I’ve been livin’
So, I take flight in tune
Caress my soul
Search hard for truths
I can share, and unfold
I don’t want “if only’s”,
“what if’s” or
“it might have been”
When I grow old
I wanna know that I’ve been livin’
So I will not bow
I will not break
I tell you, I’ve learned
From all my mistakes
I will not yield,
I will not stop
I’ll be sure to tell you, when I’ve had enough
I will not bow, no
This I my vow
I will not be lead on
By my crippling self-doubt
Just keep on smiling
Keep on believing
I’m worthy of the love
That I am receiving
So, I will not bow
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Christine Kammerer Denmark
My soundscape is diverse, coloured by many genres: Celtic/Nordic, jazz, rock, classic singer/songwriter with a dash of
musical theatre. I go where the story of the song takes me.
I am a musical globetrotter, and adventurer. My debut EP is an example of this as it features musicians from New York, Los Angeles, Denmark and Scotland.
I am also lead singer, composer and lyre player in Gjaldulei.
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